at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
They are going to name an STD after you.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
