whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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