There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
this hospital has no fireball
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
