FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
They are going to name an STD after you.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
