What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
