How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
