She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
love makes seman taste better
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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