Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
