I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
do herpes really smell.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
What drink are we having for lunch?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
