I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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