I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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