i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
