So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
