her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
