Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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