A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
