he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
