I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
