He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Sacagawea was the original milf.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
