He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
