i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize