you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Randomize
