Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize