Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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