dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Sext me about skeletons
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize