if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
