you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
