somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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