I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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