soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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