Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
