Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize