the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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