Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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