idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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