so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
