strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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