redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
