why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Holy shit dude........stairs
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
