Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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