; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize