I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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