You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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