when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
