Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
