omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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