Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Are we still banned from the library?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
