dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
