Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
