Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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