i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
