Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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