just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Fuck appropriateness.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
