Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
