Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We are two peas in an std pod
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
