Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
